Whatever It Takes

2 Corinthians 12:9
"My grace is sufficient for you,  for my power is made perfect in weakness.'  Therefore,  I will boast all the more gladly about my weakness,  so that Christ's power may rest on me."

More than anything I want to know God and believe what His Word says.  I also long for those I love to know Him too.   Each and every day someone I love seems to go through something hard.   It doesn't matter if it's a tragic loss or a hiccup in their plans, it's often difficult to see beyond whatever difficult situation we're facing.  These things make us ask the question,  why?  Why me?  Why now?

My sweet 9 year old son, on regular basis deals with anxiety.  I cringe when those that know me best sarcastically say, "I wonder where he got that!?"  I reject the idea that I live in that world.  However, if I stop for a moment, I recognize that it might...um...ggrrrr....nope, I don't want to admit that he gets it from me.  I was his age exactly when my headaches began.  I remember missing school.  I remember going to the doctor several times.  I remember the CT scan and still have nightmares about the allergy test.  I will never forget how I felt when the doctor looked me in the eye after weeks of tests and told me that I worry too much.  I said, "I'm 9 years old, what do I have to worry about?"  It was such a subconscious thing, I didn't even realize I was doing it.  Now, I look at my son and wonder if he feels the same way.  Does he know he's doing it?  When he comes home convinced that he's failing fourth grade, does he know how he got to that point?  My first instinct is to convince him that his fear is just unfounded, but I've learned to first allow his mind to go to the fear and face it.  "Ok, let's say you fail fourth grade.  What would that look like next year?"  He realizes he knows all the information and would be at the top of every chart.  He realized he loves his teacher and would be able to be with her again.  He would still see all of his friends at church and recess and after school activities.  Then, we go looking for the truth.  "What would it take to fail fourth grade?"  I don't know if I know the answer to this question and I'm sure they don't call it "failing" anymore, but we talk about it probably including an inability to learn the required information.  "And are you able to learn the information?"  The answer is yes.  The truth is, he is not behind in any area, but, more so on the advanced side.  And yet, I watch him totally fall apart if he is disciplined for any behavior including forgetting homework, talking too loudly in the hallway, or playing too rough on the playground.  He begins to believe lies about himself and is convinced he is inferior.  

It pains me to watch my son go through this process over and over again.  So many times I have had to calm him down and walk him through the same steps of facing his worst fear, then finding the truth and asking him about where his self worth comes from.  I want to pray that he will never go through it again, but then I realize, each and every time we walk through this process, I get an opportunity to help him recognize the lie, find the truth, and remind him that the Creator of the World thinks he is awesome!  Even if I have to watch him suffer for a few minutes, that lesson is worth it!

Some time before Easter, a bullet point in a sermon at our church talked about Mary watching Jesus dying on the cross.  Jesus was her son.  Her baby.  She watched him suffer in a way that I cannot fathom.  She knew full well, that Jesus had the power to take himself off of the cross and yet, he didn't and she watched him die.  It was part of the Father's plan for Him and Jesus said, whatever it takes.  

When I think about life's most difficult moments, I will be praying that God would relieve my loved ones from those battles but I will include, Lord, if these moment are meant to be part of Your plan for them, may this situation make them come running to You.  May they find Your love more real.  If that is the outcome, Lord, then, whatever it takes.