Be Still and Know that I am God

A few weeks ago, my husband and I took our ten year old on his first real camping trip.  We went totally off grid on a canoe trip for a few days.  We caught fish and fried them up for supper and had to scrounge the woods for campfire since you cannot cut any trees where we were.  We even camped on an island that we got to explore.  My husband and I both love the outdoors and couldn't wait to share an experience like this with our youngest.  One afternoon, my husband took our son fishing and I decided to curl up in a camp chair with an amazing view and read a book.  There was little to no sound except a bit of the water gurgling against the rocks.  But every half hour, my mind jolted out of the story that I was enjoying causing my body to brace itself with both hands on the arms of my chair, "I need to.....".  The impulse to feel guilty for sitting and doing nothing actually caused a physical reaction.  Over and over again, "I need to....".  Nope, I don't need to do laundry.  I don't need to do dishes.  I don't even need to collect firewood.  It's all done.  There was nothing left to do but be still.

I never would have guessed how difficult this would be for me.  I have no problem sitting at home and watching a move, but I will admit, I often have a basket of laundry near by.  I felt like I should be preparing a meal, or cleaning up after something.  It took a conscious effort to sit and not feel guilty.

Guilt.  "a feeling of having done wrong or failed in an obligation"  

My feeling of guilt was totally unfounded.  There was no obligation that I had failed to complete. 

We know God took time to rest (Gen. 2:2-3).  We know God instructs us to rest  (Hebrews 4).  I believe the error in my belief system often comes in what the obligation is.  Have I ever made rest my obligation?  Our camping trip was probably as close as I've come to it and still, I felt like I needed to have some other work to accomplish.  

I believe to be still and know that He is God has multiple applications. 

Literally, God wants you to rest.  He created you to rest.  Lisa Harper has pointed out in my Hebrews bible study that rest is not a punishment.  It is not a sin and is not required because sin exists.  Rest was part of God's perfect plan for the world before the fall of man.  When the world was perfect, rest was still needed.  Somehow, we have distorted this.  We feel the need for rest is a weakness.  

I'll be honest, I am not a good napper.  I seem to wake up in some sort of a daze and can't seem to shake it the rest of the day.  I haven't enjoyed napping since my son was an infant.  However, that doesn't mean I cannot rest in other ways.  My husband's time of rest would probably include a quiet walk through the woods.  Rest doesn't have to include sleep.  My goal this week was to pray about what a Sabbath rest would look like for me.  I really wasn't sure!  The only thing that I have come up with so far is a time without obligation or expectation.  This may just be in my frame of mind because when you have kids, there is always obligation and expectation!  It will be easier said than done to remove these things from my mind and heart but I know that is what God is saying He wants me to do!  What does a time of Sabbath rest look like for you?

God also wants your heart to rest.  Yes, as the old saying goes, "sometimes God calms the storm and sometimes He calms His child".  In either of these situations, God wants you to have rest and peace.  When the storm is raging, it is difficult to remember but He is in control and His love for you surpasses any lightning waiting to strike!  When He calms the storm, we have a tendency to forget His sovereignty and the fact that He is the one that controls the wind and rain.

My most frequent storm is the worry that clouds my heart.  It's is so much a part of my life that I hardly notice until my head is pounding and I feel like I can't keep my head above water.  I forget all the times God has provided for me and all the times He has given me peace in a stormy situation.

Then, there are other people's storms.  I can see someone walking by on a sunny day with a cloud over them and they walk as though their clothes are drenched and it takes such an effort to move one foot in front of the other.  I am one that tries to fix a situation.  I hate to see those I love hurting, so I try to keep them from it.  Reaching into a situation that you aren't meant to fix can actually do more harm than good.  Let's let God calm the storm.  Let's let God be God.
That one might have hurt to put into writing.  Sometimes the lesson hits close to home.

Psalm 46:10, "Be still and know that I am God."

Be still.

Know that I am God.

Actions Speak Lounder than Words

I know it may sound like bragging, but I have a great little boy.  He is polite, fun, and has a very soft heart.  This is not to say that he is perfect.  However, he is very good at saying he's sorry.  Sometimes, I will admit his "I'm sorry" comes out so fast that I begin to question it's authenticity.  How do I know he really means it?

James 2:14-17

14 What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save them? 15 Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food. 16 If one of you says to them, “Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it? 17 In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.

When I hear my son say he's sorry, I expect to see his actions turn 180 degrees and head the opposite direction of whatever caused the apology in the first place.  If his actions do not take this turn, I will admit that I question wether he was ever sorry in the first place.

How easy it is for me to state one thing and do another.  I want to believe that God is my provider and that I have nothing to worry about.  Then, why does my anxiety level sky rocket when my bank balance gets low?  Why do I worry so much about my children?  Why do I feel like I need to keep so many balls in the air?

What lesson am I teaching my children if I say to trust God and then I run screaming into the night scared that the bottom will fall out of the boat?  

Our actions prove what we believe.  I often claim trust, but my actions poke holes in my theory.  The desire to trust wholeheartedly is within me.  The ability to trust wholeheartedly is not like leaning back in an easy chair.  Sometimes it feels much more like paddling a pontoon up a river with only one little paddle.  The choice to attempt to move the boat with that small paddle is the hardest part.  I forget that God can calm the most outrageous of rivers and the very depths of my heart.  How often do I look at the little paddle in my hand and toss it over my shoulder and yell for help at friends that seem to be cruising by me in their speed boats.  I don't even try.  Thankfully, many of my closest friends carry towropes with them! 

 

When I feel as though I'm falling behind and have no paddle to try to make my way back to reliance on Jesus, I thank the Lord above that he often sends a friend to pull me safely to shore where I can begin to slowly recover.  

What I realize on the shore is that I never lost my paddle, I just chose not to use it.