Last night, my son was not making great choices and he got in trouble. When I went into his room to tuck him into bed, he was curled up in a ball in tears. I gently pulled the covers back and asked what the problem was. He said, "Daddy doesn't like me anymore." My heart broke. He believed that the consequences to his poor choices were a direct reflection of the way his dad felt about him. Fortunately, his dad understood how detrimental it would be for him to continue believing that lie. So, he wrapped his son in his arms and just loved on him.
This morning, my mind replayed the events. How often do I believe that the consequences of my actions are a direct reflection of how God feels about me? I can say with my mouth that I believe there is nothing that I can do to make God love me less. However, I know there are times that I put God in a human box. I tend to relate him to how an imperfect being would react to circumstances instead of the infinite grace that defines his very being.
Do you know how many times my husband has told his little boy that he loves him? There is no way to count. There are days that he just repeats it over and over again. It isn't all just about telling him either, he has shown him with hugs and sacrifices. My son sees the joy in his dad's eyes when they make plans to go spend a day together. Do these things automatically mean that my son will never doubt his father's love? No. Unfortunately there is nothing that my husband can do to make sure our son believes how much he loves him. My son must choose to believe it.
1 John 4:8 says God is love.
He chose to send His son to die so that I would not have the eternal consequences to my sin and yet my comprehension of that depth falls short. Therefore, I need to choose, every day to believe that it happened and that a love like that exists. I have seen evidence. The creator of the universe has reached into my life and provided for me when nothing else could. Yet, in moments of looking for the easy way out, sometimes I forget how real and how close He is to me. His Word tells us,
"And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God." Ephesians 3:17b-19
What would it look like for my son to believe his father's love is not determined by his actions? First, when his dad points out his poor choices, he would know it's in love and therefore not get defensive and try to justify his actions. Second, he would not feel so horrible about the poor choices. He would acknowledge that he made a mistake and be able to move on without it affecting his personal worth. Finally, it would not create a barrier in the relationship between he and his father.
I want to say that I've never reacted in these ways. However, I am a work in progress! Thankfully,
Philippians 1:6, says "being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."
What relief that promise brings!
There is nothing I can do to make God love me more and there is nothing I can do to make God love me less. Today, I choose to believe it!
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