The Wedding Planner

I love weddings!  I love all the details and planning and flowers and music.  I would love to be a wedding planner.  If my Saturdays weren't already filled with soccer games and basketball tournaments, I would love to help people pull together the mass of details and decisions that it takes to pull off a beautiful wedding.  I work at a church, so I get to play wedding planning on a very minor scale.  I enjoy thinking of things that other people haven't.  I find that being a part of someone's big day makes me feel very special.

This past fall I was thoroughly enjoying the Bible study Chase by Jennie Allen with some precious ladies.  Each Wednesday evening, we met and discussed David and how his sin filled life intensified his own awareness for his need of a Savior and continued to draw his heart toward his Lord.  There was a particular activity that she had us doing that became very special to each of us.  She had us fill out a T chart.  One side asked the question, "who is God?"  The other side basically asked "and what does that mean for me?"  It became my favorite way to start the day.  Lord, who are you today?  Each time I asked (and didn't jump ahead a page and fill in my own answers) but sat quietly waiting for Him to respond, He answered in such a personal and unique way.  Often the answer we received was something none of us would ever have thought of on our own.

One Thursday morning,  my frustration at work came to a boiling point.  Things were not going as I planned and it seemed other people's agendas were getting further and further from the direction I felt like we should be headed.  I did not do the right thing.  I did not respond in love or even go to the Lord in prayer and yet, He was gracious to me.  I grabbed a listening ear and somehow ended up in the same room that we meet for Bible study.  I whined and complained until I was sure I had made my point and somehow the conversation turned towards my current study.  I immediately shared about this very cool tool helping me to ask God who He was and what that meant to me.  Almost mid sentence I was reminded of the last answer I had received to that question.  I had all but dismissed it the day before without giving it much thought....it just sounded too silly.

I shared it with my listener that day and want to share it with you today, even if it is just so that I never forget the message.  He said, "I am the bridegroom.  The church is my bride.  And we do not need a wedding planner."  My first reaction is to grasp at anything that I think cannot be done without me.  I want to be needed because that makes me important, worth more, right?  I enjoy being the driving force behind progress.  When I realized how desperate I was to find my personal worth in what I do, I heard my whiny inner child voice saying, "but then I'm not needed for anything".

Don't despair, there is a MAJOR silver lining here!  If I let this new reality sink in, (not like an indent on a squishy bed, but really sink in, like the fruit pieces that are way down into the jello salad, fully immersed in cherry goodness) I feel relief.  I am no longer responsible for the way other people live their lives.  Since I have no control over this anyway, I feel a huge weight lifted off of me. And just like the infomercial - Wait!  There's more!  God chooses to allow me to be part of His plan.  Not for His benefit but for mine!  He doesn't need me to accomplish anything, but He often places me in the path of His plan.  Each and every time that happens, I am blessed.  In fact, I think our own agendas are often foiled so we can't take credit.  It is in that moment that you realize you were just along for the ride.

The person sitting in a quiet corner of our church, listening to my frustrated heart was along for the ride that day.  God allowed her to be in the right place at the right time, but not because it was her calling to point me in the right direction.  When our heart is in the right place, sometimes we get a front row seat to watch what God is doing in someone else's life.  That is what I want to think about each morning when I decide if it's worth getting out of bed.

I am not an unemployed wedding planner.  Instead, as part of the body of Christ, I get the perspective of a perpetual bride.  I watch Him place people, including myself in the best possible place to see His love for us.  This is a beautiful thing!  When I take details into my own hands, even when I have the best of intentions, that's when I become Bridezilla!  So, let's focus on knowing Him and let Him take care of the details.